I got invited to a nightclub at English corner...

Just a passing invitation.

Someone told me "Collin, Cecelia and me are going to a club, do you want to come?"

After some hesitation, I made the tenuous commitment of, "If Collin goes, I'll go"

I am in no way the centre or focus of this event. I am extremely busy anyway.

So Friday when I saw Cecelia, she wasn't too keen on this event. I got a message asking me about the event, and considering it was on the Saturday were I felt like crap and cancelled everything, I merely said "Talk to Cecelia and Collin". I am not the focus of this event. I wasn't that interested in going to begin with because I have been to busy lately anyway.

Fast forward to this afternoon when I bump into the guy who was organising it. He seemed to make out like I dishonoured him somehow by not going. I never gave him my dying word of going. I am not the centre or focus of this event.

Well anyway, I have had plans to go to a night club that has a special halloween night for at least a month! I have been planning to go with or without this guy. He really pressed me to commit 100% to go and then tells me the owner of the bar wants to take us out for a big dinner and a lot of free drinks and if we could help decorate the inside of the night club to be more like a "western night club"

dam dam dam!

I just want to enjoy myself. I dont want any free dinners, because in China a free dinner means someone wants something from you. I just want to go to the club for their Halloween night and not have to think about meeting owners or someone asking for favours. I just want to go, have fun and not think about this crap.

No wonder students at the university complain they dont have any fun, any remotely possible fun event such as language corners, singing competitions, dances etc are so micro-managed that they become so formal and so much hard work that you simply can't enjoy yourself.

Where is the spontaneity??? It seems birthdays have become formal too: Cake, Hot pot, KTV, in bed by 11pm.

What happened to letting the night take you where it takes you? If you micro-managed everything it loses its fun. The best adventures are the ones hidden around the corner.

right
but sometimes you find it hard to reject something
we call it renqing in Chinese

guganlingzhi wrote:right
but sometimes you find it hard to reject something
we call it renqing in Chinese

reject something? There was no waivering of my voice. If I am not doing something, you know it. I wasn't the focal point of this outing, I was a maybe from the first mention of it even happening.

Just spoke to Collin. Apparently this guy told him I was going to go (before he even asked me) and told me Collin was going to go (before he asked Collin)

English Corner is so wonderful. We all enjoy our time!

Ann wrote:English Corner is so wonderful. We all enjoy our time!

Really?

why do you think chinese people treat you a dinner means they want something from you, i think sometimes it maybe. but most of time it means they want to thanks you for doing something for them, or this is a best way to make you more friendly.

Even wrote:why do you think chinese people treat you a dinner means they want something from you, i think sometimes it maybe. but most of time it means they want to thanks you for doing something for them, or this is a best way to make you more friendly.

so you mean they are offering a meal to return a favour?

this is pretty much my point, the only difference between giving someone a meal before or after you do something for someone is the time you get the meal.

Friends of course can invite to dinner, but strangers? There is an ulterior motive.

And incase you were wondering...

My Halloween plans are ruined.. I've been planning to go for a month!

Now I'll think of something else to do